Parenting is by far one of the hardest jobs in the world. When you look at the way you were raised, do you support full heartedly the teachings of your parents? Although a hard question to look at, it is an important one while raising a child. This matter goes beyond the superficial notion of what you were physically given as a child or even the kind of world you were exposed to, good or bad. Let’s say your parents made it a point to raise you in a region of the world where you were exposed to many cultures in hopes that you would one day become open to other cultures, religions and ethnicities. This may be something you would like to pass onto your children, but let’s go deeper than that for the time being. As you live your life as a mom-to-be or as a parent, separate from your parent’s rules do you feel as though you are striving to adjust certain parenting styles that you were raised with? Some of us may understand how hard raising a child is and give our parents the credit they deserve in some areas of parenting which is fine, but ask yourself was there room for improvement on a small or large scale? Most of us have an innate quality within us to attempt to, “not make the same mistakes that our parents have made.” And although we can never become the most perfect parents, we can continually grow to be the ideal parents we set forth to be.
The most crucial aspect to start off with while delving deeper into this topic is: did I feel physically safe as a child? Did I feel emotionally safe? Were my feeling validated or overlooked? Do I feel that I was given a sufficient amount of caring that matched my unique disposition? All of these questions are extremely important to look at, but the last one above all is the most significant: Do I feel that I was given a sufficient amount of caring that matched my unique disposition? It is a known fact that we are unique beings that have vastly different needs. Twins can be raised within the same household with similar exposure to parenting methods, though each child’s disposition, perspective and desires are different. Children learn through us, learning theory and it is unlikely that a child who is sensitive and meek will respond well to stern parenting methods. If your child is boisterous and secure it is doubtful that they will respond best to overly passive parenting methods. While there is no set formula for parenting and we are all learning as we go along, being in tuned with your child’s needs is most essential. Being open to each child’s unique emotional requirements, while setting clear, fair boundaries are key in parenting. Listen to your children and above all, listen to your heart while guiding them through the world. We were given the gift of parenting and we have a duty to nurture our children as best as we can.
Heavy questions were addressed in this entry. It is so important to strive to be emotionally fulfilled while raising a child. Your happiness is vital. It is never too late to change. If you feel stuck or unhappy it is important to look at your own life so you can start the healing process and become the best person and parent that you can be.